few hours before turning older

GMT +1, London Time

It's 9.30 PM when I start typing this, 2.5 hours before I turn a year older.

Actually, I have a lot of thoughts to be typed (I may do it later when I have the mood), this time I will only type my personal feelings.

It's feelings, not thoughts.

Based on what we (my hubby & I) have planned earlier this year, we would have been in Singapore right now to celebrate my birthday. I've never been inside to the Universal Studio Singapore (I only took picture in front of the giant rotating globe because we thought of visiting Singapore again on my birthday and we have bought the tickets!!). As a theme-park-lover, I was looking forward for this trip as it'll be my 1st birthday celebration after being married.

Moving to England on June made us need to sacrifice the birthday trip. I know where I am now is a much better place compared to Singapore (some people may think so). I guess I am still in the post-moving-syndrome, I don't really know how I feel lately, I have no excitement at anything, including my birthday. I just want to get everything settled.

My dad texted me this afternoon reminding me to have noodle tomorrow. I replied him that I haven't found any delicious noodle in Nottingham, best I've had is so called Indomie. 

If you don't know what does it mean, in Chinese tradition, there's a belief that noodle represents long life, so people may have noodle on their birthday to have a longer life to live. 

I miss homes.

Wherever I admit as my homes: Pontianak, Jakarta and KL.

This year birthday wish: to be be careful on what i wish for next.

-Jess

9:59 PM when I finished typing this.

Ingress

I’m basically not a gamer. The games I spent hours & days playing can be calculated by fingers: Harvest Moon, The Sims & Sim City. The rests are only simple games like Fruit Ninja & Angry Birds; which I only play when I get bored waiting for something or when I have no entertainment. Oh, I’m disliking online game as well.

Few months before my wedding, I got annoyed by my fiancé (now my husband) preaching about this game called Ingress. I didn’t really pay attention on the game details he told me, what I’ve got was: this is just another online game played in Android phone. 

He was ingress-ing around our hometown when we were there for wedding preparation. He kept telling me “Oh, this is the portal, lemme hack” and bla bla bla. Because I went out with him almost everyday, I automatically reminded him to hack when we passed by a portal; ended up I helped him to hack it because he’s driving.

I started to find out that the game is really cool in its design. The way it sounds, it’s like living in Ironman’s high-tech world. Then I signed up with the thought ‘hacking isn’t hard’.

As time passed, I didn’t really play this game. I could only reach level 3 during my stay in Indonesia (the max level is 8).

Moving to Malaysia, being a housewife, knowing none but my husband. I started Ingress-ing again. I could tell this game is so happening here in Malaysia. At first I only played solo or with my husband, till I joined the faction group. They helped me to level up faster, arranged operations, etc. The best part is: I get the chance to know new people & make friends.

I love (& addicted to) Ingress, it’s like the coolest game I’ve ever played.

If you’re using Android Phone, you may try searching for this game. ;)

Jess

a verified level 8 Ingress Agent

Home Sauna

Mid January 2014, Kuala Lumpur, the weather is so unfriendly lately, it’s extremely hot with super-shiny sun in the afternoon then cloudy followed by thunder+rain storm in the evening. I got sick easily lately, my body temperature turn up & down; fever. 

What happened was I had a really good buffet yesterday with my husband, it’s a combination of hotpot and BBQ (it’s like Hanamasa but more oily in their BBQ, feel sad they don’t have Hanamasa here in KL). They serves ice-cream & shaved-ice for desserts which we couldn’t stand for not having them in a large amount, I had 1 bowl of shaved-iced followed by 2 bows (3 scoops each bowl) of ice-cream. I guess my body couldn't accept much cold at the same time and am pretty bad on standing the cold from air-con, so i ended up feeling cold for the whole night, my body temperature rose. I tried so hard to keep myself warm, took Paracetamol to lower the body temperature. Felt a lil better this morning, but worsen again after breakfast & lunch.

Believed by the Chinese Oldies (not sure about this in medical study) that sweating can cure fever. Oh well, I guess I didn’t sweat enough lately, even in my yoga class, sometimes I didn’t sweat at all.

So, when we got home, I tried to make a simple sauna with the things I have at home just to get me sweating (I haven’t found any public sauna around here except the ones in hotels that may cost me a lot). I used 2 travellers’ mattress to create a small standing tube so I could sit inside, then boil a pot of water then put it inside the tube with me. I asked my husband to help me covering the tube with blanket. Sat there for around 25 mins, enjoying the heat & I sweated heavily. Felt better afterwards. 

You may try this at home if you don’t want to spend a lot on going to sauna, this traditional one helps! :)

cheers,

jess

2013

I've been leaving this blog for more than a year... I doubted what I have done during 2012 till I didn't type anything here.. 366 days flew in a blink... I read my latest post, it was posted on 2011 - few days before my family trip to Hong Kong ~ then I check the calendar and somehow shocked because it shows 2013 & the world didn't end in 2012 as predicted by the Mayans...

Am currently still siting here in office, doing the same thing as what I've done since May 2011 with a little fear of knowing this would be the last year working for this company... Perceiving that a 'big move' will be done by the third quarter of this year makes me excited yet anxious...

Now I know how it really feels like when people said: "The older you get, the more matters to worry about ~ it's called lesson of life".

-Jess

to close 2011

It's December!!! It's almost the end of December!!! Why is it so fast to reach the end of the year??

This post seems to be my last post for this year because I'll surely be away from my computer till the beginning of next year...

All those happened in 2011 were really great, there're things that didn't really exist in the past years: close friends' commencement, weddings & pregnancy... 

Congrats to you, HM for your commencement, I wish you all d best for every next step you take... :)

For Ir, I can't wait to see your baby boy next year... Remember, he should have your eyes, not Ben's... XD

Oh well, talking about myself who always loves December so much, this December is greater than the past one... Being proposed by my bf isn't something I expected to happen this year... *dun ask bout how did I react when he pulled out the ring ~ it's embarrassing >.<

I'll be back to hometown tomorrow morning and heading to Hongkong in 4 days with my family + my fiance...

Let's close this year by being grateful for everything we've got and passed...

Happy Christmas and have a great new year everyone... :)

-Jezz

all berry bang!

Can you imagine how sweet it was when you just landed from a kinda-terrible-flight then you found your loved one waiting for you with a big cup of your favourite juice on his hand??
That's what happened to me last Thursday when I was just landed in Kuala Lumpur... =D
*thank you, darl... You're much sweeter than the Boost's All Berry Bang... (if you want to know, All Berry Bang is my favourite juice from Boost Juice Bars - it's the mixture of strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, apple juice, TD4 low-fat strawberry yogurt & ice - and sadly, there's no Boost in Jakarta).

3 days in KL felt like nothing, I didn't feel like going back to my routine and of course, I hated it when I had to wave good-bye to my bf before flying back to Jakarta...
This time wasn't as bad as usual since I still have the CGK - KUL ticket for this Thursday night.. #lifeisgood

-Jezz

useless

Now I understand that people who are in the same condition got closer quickly... Oh yes, who wants to stay alone?? So then I might start my post with the phrase "I wonder if this kinda thing happens in everyone's life"...
Life isn't always perfect... There were times when we felt like we were the happiest people on earth and also times when we thought that the pains we felt were worst...
How am I feeling now?? Useless...
Useless for not being able to do things I want to do... Am currently hoping that situations may treat me more friendly - those I want to do are so simple and why they have to be so hard to be done?? sigh-sigh-sigh*

It's been 2 weeks since I moved to my new office - that means I have to leave home 1 hour earlier in the morning and arrived home 1-2 hours later than usual so then I need to sleep and wake up earlier every weekday... I do know that the distance between me and you isn't as close as before when we got less time to talk to each other because we're getting busier and busier... As what I've told you, I should've changed my question from "how's your day?" to "how's your week?" (another sigh*)
Somehow, there may be times when I prefer to stay silent, not because I don't want to talk to you but I don't dare to hear those disappointments of how you couldn't get what you've expected because of me... And of course, my crying voice isn't something you want to hear as well...
I'm lost for not knowing what to do to make you feel better... I feel totally useless these days...
It might sound really easy to just get a plane ticket and fly there to see you, but reality isn't any simple as it's said... I'm sorry...

I miss you... Friday please come faster...
-Jezz

Melb oh Melb...

I keep looking at the clock - seems like the clock isn't working now... When the hell is 5pm??
Oh well, I know I'm not supposed to yell that way, but having everything done early at the office sucked...

Talking to one of my best buddy who's now back to Indonesia makes me miss Melbourne even more... I could see how everything has changed from the past, there will be no more staying up late for jamming or supper together though we're both living in the same area now... *sigh
The feeling of how much I love and miss Melbourne might sound so lame, but I can say that a part of my soul stays there - I believe that Mk (and so do others who've left Melbourne) might feel the same way too...

-Jezz

McFlurry

I guess everyone is familiar with this thing:

Oh yes, it's an Oreo McFlurry... and what makes it so special??

I just arrived home few hours ago after having a super great weekend in Malaysia with my loved ones: my bro + his gf and of course, my bf... =)
I thank God for sending me this AWESOME guy into my life... I cant tell how much my life has changed throughout this 8 months... I've stopped moaning and complaining that life sucked like what I've done in the passed years... Though there're still tears, what I'm having now is a GOOD life...

When 2 days of weekend felt like a minute, I kept crying when you were there at the airport accompanying me waiting for the flight... I could see sadness in your eyes when you tried so hard not to shed a tear... You just kept trying to cheer me up by feeding me the Oreo McFlurry we shared...
Now, am sitting in front of my vaio at my room looking at you still wearing the same green t-shirt you wore to airport earlier... And I am still crying...

-Jezz
ps: you are sweeter than the McFlurry... =) *luv ya*

intolerant

I know what I've just done was totally wrong... Yes, I do know that...
I blame myself for being so intolerant for some cases...
I blame myself for being so inflexible...
I blame myself for being too sensitive...
I blame myself for complaining too much...
I blame myself for being too good in finding reasons for things I don't want to do...
I need to change... Yes, I do...

-Jezz

a messy post

When doctor and people say that stress is the start of every disease, it's true... I got sick very easily whenever chunks of thoughts stormed my mind... sigh*
I know there are ways in this life that can't be walked on, no matter how we wanted to be on that way...
Knowing the truth of how complicated this life is makes me sick... I do see that there're thoughts needed in every single decision made... What I am wondering is: am I not mature enough for making a decision for my own life? Well, oldies might think that I am too young so then I don't know many things happened in life... It's not me who doesn't want to follow what they say, but don't they realize on how life's changed?? How the world and lifestyle have changed nowadays??
Oh gosh, I'm lost... Lost in the middle of nowhere...

-Jezz

billionaire

Living in a world where money rules everything isn't easy remembering that making (or saving) money is an uneasy thing to do... Looking at how gadgets are quickly updated, I feel lost in the middle of advanced technology nowadays...
I guess, I really need to get a new smart phone since my Blackberry is so unfriendly lately... sigh*
Well, forget about those technology stuffs...
Helping one of my best friend who's getting married this year makes me start to think and calculate how much money is needed for a wedding... I can tell it's a HUGE spending, especially if you want to make it really special...

"I wanna be a billionaire so effing bad...."

-Jezz

China 2011

I just arrived home last week after a SUPER tiring 12 days trip to China... Well, I guess I have to remind everyone that I went there NOT for vacation... It's a business buying trip of the company I am working at... So then do not think that I had so much fun during the trip... The trip was horrible that I didn't sleep and eat well, till there were days that I had to work from 9am to 11pm and no rest during weekend...
Talking about what I've underlined above, I had KFC almost everyday in China (my bosses are Muslim so they picked KFC as the safest one)... I can tell that I tried the KFC in every single city I dropped by (Shanghai, Nantong, Haian, Guangzhou, Tianjin) except Beijing... I dunno if this is a good thing or not, but in some cities except Shanghai, I saw CRAB in the KFC menu list... *wondering if KFC is now Kentucky Fried Crab*
I was thinking that maybe I should make a review about China's KFC, since it tasted different between one city and another... Should I??
Other than that, I have nothing special to share about the trip... *poor me*

-Jezz

precious one

I suddenly remember the time when I couldn't take my eyes off of your face, the time when I could see my reflection in your eyes...
If there are words to describe how precious you are for me, I would've typed it here...

- Jezz

over-reacted

My tears dropped at the same time as the rain started to pour...
That was my first tear after i-cant-remember-when-was the latest time I cried... I never thought that myself's really fragile...
Doctor said I'm counted as the one who gets stressed out easily and I admit that... Somehow, I make simple things to be complicated by thinking too much...
People, I beg you please to be more carefree... You have your own business to be taken care of, so then please DO NOT bitch about others' business, especially when you don't know the complete story...

I wonder if I should really care bout what others say about me...

-Jezz

a cup of tea

I didn't see the sun at the time I woke up this morning, not even now... The sky keeps being cloudy these days and the weather's so unpredictable... I'm not feeling really well this morning, I felt cold without my air-con turned on... Oh well, thanks to this shitty weather... I staggered walking to brush my teeth and wash my face, then made a cup of tea for myself... Hey, the tea saved me... The mixture of hot water and some leaves made me feel so much better...
Opening Photoshop and I'm back to work...
Have a good week ahead... =)

-Jezz

80 : 20

It's Sunday 5:45 a.m. and I'm awake... The rain is pouring heavily outside... I just realized that I haven't posted anything this year while there are many things happened... I wonder if I am really busy till I have no time to drop by my blog...
Nothing much to share, really... Except the part of what I heard from the radio about 80:20 theory...
Satisfaction is what people hardly reach... They keep searching for the perfect ones for their lives... When somebody already get the 80% of what he's searching for, he'll keep looking for the rest 20% he never gets... There's no impossibility for that person to leave the 80 he owned and go for the 20 which might lead him to a repentance... So, are you going to be that person??

-Jezz
(waiting for the end of January)

a part of you

There are times when I couldn't really pour my thoughts and feelings into words, especially when they're indescribable...
Life is full of surprises and being a part of you is something I never thought before...
I thank God for making you happen in my life...
Hold my hand and we walk together...

-Jezz

cloudy

The sun wasn't shining brightly this morning when your voice woke me up... I slowly prepared myself to go to work and didn't find myself fully awake till now... Along my way to office, I saw leaves were blown by the wind and cloudy sky which are perfectly reflecting my mood this morning...
I thought of calling you this morning just to say "good morning" or just to wake you up when I was driving and stuck in the traffic... But my shitty awareness didn't allow me to do so (read what I typed above: am not fully awake)... >.<
About what you've just told me, somehow... I feel the same way, scared that you might be bored talking to me too often so then I just pulled myself away or kept myself busy doing something else... sigh*
I am sorry if what I did last night made you sad...
Can I still get a hug??

-Jezz

firework

Having a companion in every single day is just really nice... Well, I don't know how to express this happiness since I'm not really good in expressing my feeling through words... =)


People oh people... Sometimes they're too silly for not showing their awesomeness... 
I have to remind myself and everyone that every single thing we do (even if we think it's meaningless) does mean something for some people around us... A simple word said or a smile has the power to lighten somebody's day...
"There's a hero if you look inside your heart... You don't have to be afraid of what you are... " 


You don't have to feel like a waste of space...
You're original, cannot be replaced...
If you only knew what the future holds, after a hurricane comes a rainbow...
Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed, so you can open one that leads you to the perfect road...
Like a lighting bolt, your heart will blow..
And when it's time, you'll know...
You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine...
Just own the night like the Forth of July...
Cause baby you're a firework, come on show 'em what your worth...
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!" as you shoot across the sky-y-y...
Baby you're a firework, come on let your colours burst...
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!" you're gonna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own... 





n you're shining brighter than the moon in my sky... 
-Jezz