4 a.m in the morning...

Good morning, readers...

it's 28 august 2009 4:13 am here... and I'm awake...

I will just spend few minutes here... typing what are the things on my mind...

Firstly... like what've i written on my facebook status... These days i'm in my anti-social mood..

It doesn't mean i'm totally shutting myself from others... but, i just can't be bothered to talk to "un-important" people about "un-important" stuffs... i just talked to people who're close to me, though we're talking bout un-important stuff as well... thk i should look back at myself and think "what've happened to me??"

Secondly...

I feel like not to sign in my Yahoo! Messanger in the office... Why??? my senior who's moved to singapore office keeps asking me to do more and more things by msging me in Yahoo.. where i haven't finished 1 job, she asks me to do another 2 or 3, including the jobs that belong to her... I just have 2 hands n 1 head to think and to get the job done... u should know that I'm using a SUPER-LAG computer that u bought for me (1 GB RAM with Windows Vista, damn slow)... >,<>

and i beg you, please please please... STOP blaming me for the fault u did... we have record for every report done, and it's ur initial there, it means it's your mistake... NOT MINE!!

The lab manager said to me, how come u're so heartless, letting me stay overtime EVERY DAY without overtime payment during weekdays... dun compare here with Singapore, Ms Senior... It's safe there... n here?? u know it yourself...

Thirdly...

I'm going back to bed soon...

Today's Quote:

"Good in calculation and math doesn't guarantee we're able to be fair..."

-Jezz

Looking Back... Part 2...

back to the word "comparison"...

I found the way i think now is much different from before...

Looking back at my previous love life...

realizing that now i'm freezing my heart, i'm not letting anyone in...

ask me why?? if u read my blog from Feb till now, then you'll know...

I'm not ready to be hurt again...

I'm not talking that every love-story is hurt and painful, but yea... i'm just not ready for those stuffs...

some friends of mine told me that i'm expecting too much from a guy to be my partner...

well... sometimes i agree with that... but, is it wrong???

while I remember Av told me, "is it a mistake to find a competent partner, so our lives can be easier???"

maybe u and i have the same "high expectation", Av... hahaha... but, yours is easier than mine, i guess...

i dun talk love at the moment, coz my logic doesn't accept that now...

what i believe now is God, myself, family and friendship...

These few months, the news bout passing away people are many...

No matter he's a pop star, an artist, or whoever...

Life.... is just so unpredictable... for the people who've gone... may you all rest in peace...

and u will always be alive for the people around you...

I believe that people could live in memories... and also believe, LIFE is about making memories... coz, when we're gone, the only thing left is memories...

Myself doesn't know how long my life will be... Though sumtimes i'm anti-social, but I hope i can gain lotz of memories with everyone entered my life...

Again, i thk i need to clear up my mind before i mix up everything i type...

I miss the ways i passed before... with houses on the left and right, a park, cheap apartments that lead me to get to Chapel Street... =)

Melbourne, I'm coming next year... Amennn...

-Jezz

Looking back... Part 1...

I just read few comments bout my previous post... thx anyone, for supporting me... =) and these few days, i found that sometimes my mind thinks bout past...
A question raised, "what can u get from looking back to your past?"
comparison... between the way you think and the way you look at something...
sigh*
i should "tide" up my mind 1st before i continue typing bout this...
and I'm just too sleepy & too tired to stay in front of my computer after a long-long working hour (8am-8pm) today...
To be continued....

-JeZz zzZZzzzZ.... -.-

To dump or being dumped...

Having chats with some friends might lead you to a topic u never thought before...
n i couldn't really tell why did I n my frens talk bout exes.. (does it spell like that?? i mean more than 1 ex here)...
well, we talked bout to dump or being dumped... in indonesian/english lesson i learned before, to dump means "mencampakkan" - as u're the subject (person) who done the dumping.... and being dumped means "dicampakkan" - u're the object (victim) of dumping... (OMG, i thk i need to learn english again now)...
if a relationship is broken, i guess, people will ask, who's the one asking for a break up?? doesn't it have the same meaning as "are you the one who dumped him/her?" and some will say "owh, i'm the one who asked..." or "i dumped him/her..." proudly...
why do u have to be proud of that???
what i'm thinking is to dump or being dumped are just leading you to a break up...
and it's called a break up because it is broken... agree???
Today, I just got to know... that my shitty ex slept with his new GF even before we broke up... (well, i call him ex coz he's shitty and sux... if he's not, i'll still call him as boyfren =p)
telling ya, i dun regret that i've loved u before... and i dun regret that we broke up...
n I feel much better without you now... =D
Go have a good life there and i'll have a much better one...
Have a good nite everyone...

-Jezz

...Untitled...

Finally, i got my weekend OFF!!! I was just sick of staying in the office, even during my weekend...
I dun really have a lot of tot to think about... well, even i'm thinking bout sumthing this moment, it's just the usual thing i used to think about... =p
Hmm... i seriously hate it when the memories of uni-life appears on my mind... it just 'drags' my tears out from my eyes... i can't understand.... WHY??? Why that city can be so meaningful for me...
I talked to Mk about things happened before... a small simple thing ever happened, could be so meaningful now... example: the time i spent with my frens walking on the street with the bloody heavy grocery shopping bags... or even just a short time sitting at McD/KFC/Subway, just for a quick meal... I miss to be there again... and saving money to get there next year...
Hopefully, i can... =) (i know, surely know that i need to stop shopping for that)
Listening to Dave Koz - I'll be there...
i repeat this song so many times these days... dunno why am i so into this song...
a great song by MJ... n played well by Dave Koz...
if before i always laughed when my mom listened to old song, well... i'm becoming like that now... old songs are good... LOL... (even old chinese songs sound good to me now)... XD
and nothing important to type anymore...
my mind is just too messy... >,<
a song for all of you, guys... ^^
"Biarkan saja kekasih mu pergi... teruskan saja mimpi yg tertunda...
Kita temukan tempat yg layak, sahabatku...
Kupercayakan langkah bersamamu, tak kuragukan berbagi denganmu...
Kita temukan tempat yg layak, sahabatku...
Kita mencari jati diri di tengah lautan mimpi...
Aku bernyanyi untuk sahabat... Aku berbagi untuk sahabat...
Kita bisa jika bersama...
Aku bernyanyi untuk sahabat... Aku berbagi untuk sahabat...
Kita bisa jika bersama....."

-Jezz

To give what u've received...

a short thought about the title i typed above...
To give what u've received...
well, to make it simpler... if we never received anything, means we don't have anything... If we dun have anything, means we can't give anything... Isn't it the rule???
then i try to connect this sequence to how to treat and to be treated...
is it possible, IF u're treated like "this" then u would treat someone else the way u've been treated???
i keep thinking about this since 2 hours ago... n not really sure about my answer for the question i just asked above...
I thk i need to sleep, better than keeping my mind spinning thking bout that thing... >,<
hv a gd nite everyone...

-Jezz

to a friend of mine...

Well, it's august now... sigh*
My precious July is already passed... sad stories at the beginning, but happy at the end...
being a 21 year old gal... people call it as mature age...
but, me myself isn't really sure that i'm mature enough to be 21... >,<
There are still many things i need to learn...
I just talked with a best friend of mine...
Was really happy to see u again at my bday celebration, mate... =)
well yeah, sumtimes i just never said to u that i miss u a lot...
staying close to u was great, seriously... we spent all together... fun, laugh, tears, works, etc...
having a companion during all the daily activity was just nice...
i told you so, that the days i spent without u around are just empty... (or am i too emotional about this???) yea, i used to see u everyday before, talking bout anything, helping each others, etc...
Here I'm crying... missing all the things we've spent together, my mate... listening to the songs we used to listen and sing together...
n u still said the words u always say to me whenever tears drop from my eyes, "just cry if u wanna cry..."
well, bout the song we talked before, i thk it has a part which is true... i type it here...
"Lucky to have been where i have been..."
Lucky to be there before, lucky to know you, lucky to learn how a real friendship supposed to be...
So close... So close... But still so far...

-Jezz