different angle

I'm leaving to Sydney tomorrow and I haven't done with my packing... I'm used to travel by myself, so what I'm bringing with me is only my luggage... I hate to bring things which I think aren't necessary to be brought (remembering the super-fussy Australian custom policy in what thing you can/can't bring into the country)... Unfortunately, this happened this time... The reason why I don't like to travel with aunties/uncles is: they like to bring such inconvenience things... sigh* (I wonder if I would turn that way when I'm getting older later)...


I had a long chat with Vd these days... Well, I found some of his words are true... The things he told me are things that I never thought about before... Since then, I started to see things from a really different angle... =)


Done with my packing... will be away from my vaio for a week... XD


-Jezz

Me??

Happy June everyone!!
I'm hoping that June would be a much better month compared to May... =)
Unfortunately, I'm not feeling well since last night... I have to recover soon remembering I'm going to have a trip this Saturday...
I saw Jo's latest post, then decided to take the personality quiz like she did... Here is the result:

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
Jess said: to be honest, I don't get what the words "down-to-earth" really mean... If it said that I'm a straightforward person, I guess it's true (some of my friends told me that)... Efficient problem solver?? Hahaha.. I think it's only applicable to others as I'm not a good/efficient problem solver for myself...

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Jess said: I do put effort to keep my love true whenever I'm in love, but am I a romantic person?? Hm... I doubt that... =p

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

Jess said: Well, it was me before... To be really honest, I don't really believe in commitment these days... I enjoy my friendship more than committed relationship...

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love. 
Jess said: absolutely TRUE!!!

Your views on education:

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

Jess said: I guess, this is also true... I did think that education is the MOST IMPORTANT thing when I was in high school and university... But, when I started working, my view of education is also started to change... I believe that there are things that I could learn outside the classroom, especially those practical skills that never been given at school... At the end, the purpose of getting education is to earn money, isn't it?? I'm not saying that education isn't important, but social networking, practical skills and good partnership (any kind of relationship between people) are also important in this case... =)

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

Jess said: Hahahaha... Regular job + side business will do for me... =D 

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

Jess said: As a perfectionist person, YES I am scared of failure... I have the courage to try on new things although it's not all the time... I think I should learn to be more optimistic... 

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Jess said: Well, i have to admit this... I hate ignorance, so that is why i admitted that I try so hard to be accepted by other people...

Who is your true self:

You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

Jess said: Yes, that's me!!

You harbor hidden feelings of jealousy:

You easily get jealous of other people, but you manage to control your expressions and emotions. For instance, when a close friend tells you that she has met the man of her dreams, you might sincerely say to her "Congratulations!", but what you're really thinking is "You're so lucky! Why can't I be you?"
Jess said: Hahaha... This is true, I just typed bout this in my previous post... =D

How will you choose your Mr Right?
You will make the most of being able to shop around for Mr Right. You love your freedom and will have a lot of fun learning about what sort of man you like. When you do find the guy for you, nobody will be able to keep you away from the church.
Jess said: Right... Hahaha...

Who will be your future Mr Right?

Your real-life hero will be manly. He'll be dependable, even financially. He will protect you and always respect your feelings. He'll probably be quite a bit older than you.

Jess said: I guess, age isn't really a matter for me as long as he's dependable and respectable... Ya, i might need someone who can protect me, not me protecting him... =p

How loyal are you?

You get along very well with most guys. Sometimes your friendliness misleads others to think that you're a bit of a flirt, but actually you've got a loyal heart. You'll never have eyes for anyone except your beloved boyfriend/husband.

Jess said: that's the fact!!

Enough blogging!! Back to work... 

-Jezz

Gratitude

After all the moans I typed in my previous posts, I started to realize that I still have a long long path to walk on... It doesn't mean I'm not looking back to what I've been through, I just need to be more realistic...
There are times when I envy people who're staying overseas, who have the chance to see the different parts of the globe... But I have to remind myself that I already got the chance to stay in Australia before... Look at the people who do not have any chance to travel anywhere... Be grateful, Jess... 
At times, I could just forget that I have lovely people around me... People who do care about me... People who make my life easier... People who share laughters and tears with me... Be grateful, Jess... 
I should be grateful for many other things in my life (it's too many to be mentioned one by one)... 
I thank God for the life He has given to me... Life is good in His guidance... =)


-Jezz
(who's madly in love with Brandon at the moment) XD

Melbourne 2010

"There can be miracles when you believe..." - Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston
Remember when I put Melbourne 2010 as my target last year?? It comes TRUE and I'm leaving next week to Sydney and Melbourne... It's not going to be a long trip as I just have 1 week time... But still, it COMES TRUE... Hahaha... I'm so excited now... Thank you, God... Thank you, Dad and Mom...
What I'm trying to say here (I think I said this few times before) is: KEEP BELIEVING in whatever you want that you'll have the ability to get/reach it... It's just the matter of time on when you're going to get it, so DO NOT RUSH, there's no such free thing on earth, all needs effort... 


Another thing, I know this's kinda silly or lame but this's how I really feel these days and I'm just trying to be honest to myself (especially, to my feeling)...
I smile a lot and feel happy whenever I remember the time I spent with you... This's sort of weird I think, because I never felt this way before... Well, it's a BIG LIE if I say that I've gotten over you... Hahaha... I still have the feeling for you, my friend... =D 
It's just unfair where you're the one who started this at the beginning and you're also the one who broke it... I'm not blaming you again and again as well, what I typed here are my feelings and thoughts about what we've been through (remember when you told me to always be honest to you??)... Like what I've told you before, second time isn't as easy as the first time... Healing the wound isn't as easy as the word "sorry" is said... 
At the end, I thank God that we're still friends... You know where to find me whenever you need someone to run to... =)





To those who're graduating this mid year: Al (May), Binusians (June), Dj (July), and others...
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
I wish you all the good luck for the every next step you take... =)


Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mel... All the best for you... =D


-Jezz

2nd - 3rd week of May

I've been really busy these days, I have works queuing to be done... 
Since the very first time I started working in this company, I thought I would just designing interiors... But, now I turned to be omnidesigner (that what's Iv told me), who designs everything: interiors, name cards, posters, brochures, leaflets, bags, etc... 
The good thing of being a designer is: you'll feel proud when you see your designs are made for real and sold...


I went back to Pontianak to attend my cousin's wedding last weekend...
Once I stepped into the house, I went into the room you stayed before, then to the bathroom... I found the green body wash bottle I bought for you before... I was like "OMG, it's still here??"... I couldn't tell how much that room reminded me about you... Then I sent you short message saying that I found that bottle and was so happy when I got your reply since we didn't talk much these days... (Aiya Jess, stop acting that way, it's lame! When something is over means it's over!) 
To be really honest, I really wanted your hug when I had my bad days last week (I guess, you know I wouldn't be able to say this thing to you)... I miss you, anyway... =)


About the bad days... It's more than bad, I could tell it's a nightmare... It's a destruction of my name and reputation... I was sooooooo stressed out because of this...
Last Friday morning when I was about to go out for my visa application, I got a phone call from J telling me that someone posted something on Kaskus (the largest Indonesian online community) that ME selling a secondhand Blackberry online without sending the good after receiving the payment... I tried to get online and read through the post... WTF!! I called the buyer right after I read the post to explain that I knew nothing about that case... He told me that one of my friend called him before telling him that it's impossible Jess doing such thing (Thank you, Vd)... I couldn't access my Facebook account for the first few days after that post because it's hacked/locked... At the time I could access it, I found more than 100 people adding my Facebook and found messages full of cursing words (also happened to my Twitter account)... 
I ended up making Kaskus account to clarify that I'm not in charge with the case... I was really glad when I saw my friends posted replies to support me... Thank God for giving me good friends... Thank you...
What's up to now about the case is me and some friends are searching for the suspected person... 
I really hope it could be solved as soon as possible, because I still have many things to do...


I feel sad these days, really sad...
I saw an old man having snow ice by himself...
I saw another old man selling bakcang with a motorbike...
I saw an old lady buying groceries by herself at the market...
I saw an old couple with heavy luggages sitting and waiting for someone to pick them up at the station...
I wonder where're their children?? Why didn't they accompany them??
I saw a cute little girl (she told me that she's 5 years old) serving me when I went to buy snow coconut-flavored ice...
I saw a dog coming to my mom's restaurant every afternoon asking for food with sad expression...
I saw many many many other things in my daily life that made me feel sad...
Should I learn to be more carefree??? 


-Jezz

letting go

Keeping this feeling inside kills me slowly... I don't know how long I could keep this feeling, how far I would want to feel the pain... I don't have the ability to tell you how much I miss you, how much I love you...

With the rest of love I still have for you, now I let you go... 

There will be no more me when you look back...

-Jezz

designer

Just randomly showing what I am doing at the moment...
Packaging design... Yes, that's what I'm doing now, after interior projects and graphic designs...
Being a designer is fun yet stressing... But, I am glad to be labeled as a designer, which I think is one of the coolest jobs on earth (hyperbolic mode)...
I'm actually bored because I have no idea on what to sketch (I already done 2 designs, but i need more options before showing them to my boss)... Back to work... 


-Jezz