Easter Sunday Morning...

Happy easter everyone...
Easter is the time for everyone to re-born and start to walk on this life in a better way... ^^

As the time passes, i feel much much better since before now.. (i mean, since the day i went back to Melbourne and packed my stuffs)...
Thanks to all my friend...
Specially to Ir, Al and Av... who're always there to listen to me...
and others... who spent their time with me...
Rk, Jp, and Ew... my church mates... who always argue with me bout where to go for lunch... LOL...
Dj... the one who's always on MSN with me during office hours...
Dn... the one who's on the phone with me during traffic jam...
Hb... a great singer who sings before i sleep... the one who always worries bout me...
Nd... sum1 who said that "crying is not cool"... =p
Ls and At... i never thought of being close to you guys, but, it's just fun to talk with you...
Mk... the one who never packed his lunch anymore since i left... hahaha...
Bn... my childhood friend who always makes me laugh...
too many to mention.. T____T

Friendship...
the relationship between people i appriciate the most...
What i see now... friends... will always be friends...
no matter how far away we're seperated... we're still in touch...
still sharing with each others...
and in this easter sunday, i wanna thank God... for giving me all these OWESOME friends...
I should learn to spend more time with them, like i never done before coz of my selfishness...
sumtimes, i'm not a good friend as well... but now, i'm trying to be...
coz i dun wanna lose all these precious people in my life...
You're all irreplaceable... n I love you all, guys... ^^

Today's Quote: "You and I will always be... celebrating life together...
I know I've found friends forever more..."

-Jezz

a story about bird poo...

I seriously have a lot of things to type, but my mind is just too messy that i couldn't think well...
Where should i start... LOL...

This's my 4th week of working... how do i find it?? so so... kinda boring tho...
keep doing the same thing everyday... then now i can appreciate my weekend well... hahaha...
Went out with high school friends and talked...
n just realized.. how different the way we think and act now compared with before (years ago when we're all still in high school)..

Dn told me a story...
When u plan to go out and at the time u just walk out the house, a bird poo on u...
then, what will you do???
I bet, everyone will have this answer...
"go back into the house, do some cleaning and go out again..."
if we apply that simple story to this real life... it would be like this..
the bird poo is the same with troubles or any difficulties in this life...
going into the bathroom and clean yourself mean look back at what've happened and learn from mistakes we've done... it does take sometimes to think then realize and learn... but, no matter how long it takes, it works if you brave enough to try...
Go out from the house means we're ready to face all the new thing in front of us...
Life is like that... we'll never know how bad or how good we are if troubles never came..

Ir, i'm desperately waiting for you to come back Indo.. then we start to set up our business plan.. LOL... my mom just asked me bout going to Beijing this afternoon, i forgot to tell u before... was too busy with those shitty reports in the office... just remind me that when we talk in msn... =)

Al, i read a passage written for me... "dun be too tough, overall u're just a girl"...
LOL.. i am a girl.. but, what i'm facing now is even making me tougher than before.. so, any help???
gud luck with all ur stuff there.. especially HW... Gambatte ne...

Dj, seems long2 time since latest time we talked b4... hahaha... n we do talk a lot now, coz of this "perasaan senasib"... boring office hours... hahaha... but, i enjoy talking to u as i did since high school... how long will it take to leave that office?? 20+ days rite?? well, gud luck too.. haha... I'll be on msn with you during those shitty times... =p

Av, dun think u will read my blog unless if i read it out for you... (wondering if ur internet is really working or not)... well, i think we got a lot of things to discuss... later, if we both have time... Let's go sumwhere for refreshing.... i'm seriously sick of this monotone days... think we both need some time to do crazy stuffs out there... =p and ask others to join too...

Mk, where're my requests??? hahaha... Gud luck with assignments... LOL... i feel like going to safeway and do crazy grocery shopping like what i used to do when i was in melb... =p

That's all for tonight... I'm too tired to type although i still hv a lot of words in my mind...
i'll just continue when i have time...

Today's quote: "容易得到的东西也容易失去。。"
means: easy come easy go...

-Jezz

Irreplaceable...

Irreplaceable...
That's d word i wanna talk about this time...


On the way to office this saturday, i saw an accident...
a man was hit by a truck and died... the dead body was still there when i passed the road...
I was thinking... The man who died knows nothing, i mean, he's just gone...
But the family left will be so depressed to get sumthing like this happened to them...
Losing one of their relatives/siblings/friends/etc...


Sometimes, we don't appreciate people around us...
And at the end, we regret everything when they're gone...
No matter who they are... parents, brother/sister, friends, boy/girlfriend, fiance, husband/wife, or whoever...
There's just 1 him/her in this life... in this world...
Even when we found another person to replace someone who's gone, he/she's still a different person...
No matter how alike they are...


So...
Everyone is irreplaceable...
No matter how good or bad you are... or how hopeless you are...
YOU DO MEAN SOMETHING FOR PEOPLE AROUND YOU...
and for God who created you... =)


Today's quote:
"The worst thing u can be is not being yourself..."


-Jezz

a month....

It have been a month since that day, F...
and i found myself doing really well now... ^^
Got a job (although salary isn't high) and busy days come like it has no end...
At least, it's a good start for my new life in indo now...
This morning, i suddenly thought about you...
Remembering all the time we've spent together... n smile... =)

Thinking about you, F...
wondering how's ur relationship with her going... *sigh...
Jealous?? yeah... of course... haha..
i dun wanna lie to myself if it's only because of high prestige (like what u do mostly)...
i remember when i told you bout what i've achieved, u said u dun wanna talk about it...
why not??? i never wished to be big headed to you or to show off...
I'm just telling you the truth that i'm proud of being myself...
then u just sidestep... can i guess why???
MAYBE... n just maybe...
u feel/think that u're nothing compared to me...
i could say that coz u ever told me "i'm not appropiate for you..." or "i'm not good enough for you..." few times, not only once...
yeah... different from before (i used to say NO to those statements), this time... i will say YES...
as a girl, i found myself is much tougher than you, mate...
then if u say u're just a loser, it's ABSOLUTELY YES, YOU ARE...
it's not i wanna talk sumthing rude/bad about u, F...
i feel that u're having such a high prestige (even too high) and it makes you stand on the same point with no progress... u even can't reach what u want coz of that silly prestige...
i'm just saying... n again, it's just a MAYBE...
u're d one who knows everything about urself...
then, just tell me if that high prestige can lead you to what u wish to reach... =)

Al, seems u're having a nice break til it's hard to find a time to talk.. hahaha...
i hope everything is going well with you... Hv a nice break, mate... ^^

Av, u're just too busy.... hahahaha... need some times to meet up and talk... i hv many many things to talk to you... bring ur cad to me lah, i'll help as i can.. =p

Ir, dun be mad to me of writing sumthing about F again in my blog... LOL... hope u'll get the shoes soon... n enjoy famous amous... hahaha... i miss it too, gotta get some when i go to Sency... it's damn expensive here... T_____T Gud luck with all ur assignment... ^^

Mk... miss me?? LOL... haha.... i've updated my blog as u requested... =p i think i need to ask you to get me some medicines from there, including that shitty lemon panadol... T______T
srsly hate d taste, but it's good for flu... hahaha.... how's d amazing race?? i want to join.. but can't.... *sigh... i hope i can spend more time in melbourne as i wish, but fact's saying NO.. so, what can i do?? just walk on... hahaha... gud luck with ur stuff there too... =p

I just went to get some paint test pods for my new house... kinda excited... coz i hvn't got my own room here... counting down to move out... yayyyyy....

today's quote:
" so forget your past and we can dream tomorrow... there's so much to lose, yet so much more to gain..."

-Jezz

...missing...

It's been almost 3 weeks since the latest time i heard ur voice, F....
Nothing changed... still sweet as before... ^^
What i'm thinking now is "why should i call you before??"...
just to let u know that i get a job???
n u told me that u're at her place... *sigh*
i thought i'l be fine with ur new relationship now...
but, it's just hurt me whenever i get to know about it...
Silly... n once again... i shouldn't have called u before... =(

I talked again to u just now... i felt weird...
the way we talk is just too different from before...
same voice, same person, different way....
seems u're busy... good luck for everything then... =)
i always wish all the best for u, F...

as u gave me a song that represents my feeling before...
Here is a song for you, which is representing ur feeling (maybe)...
Demi Waktu - Ungu
Aku yang tak pernah bisa lupakan dirinya
Yang kini hadir diantara kita
Namun ku juga takkan bisa menepis bayangmu
Yang slama ini temani hidupku
Maafkan aku menduakan cintamu
Berat rasa hatiku tinggalkan dirinya
Dan demi waktu yang bergulir di sampingmu
Maafkanlah diriku sepenuh hatimu
Seandainya bila ku bisa memilih
Kalau saja waktu itu ku tak jumpa dirinya
Mungkin semua tak kan seperti ini
Dirimu dan dirinya kini ada di hatiku
Membawa aku dalam kehancuran


-----

Al, seems we dun hv much time to talk these days... hahaha... gud luck for ur midterm n assignments... i believe that u can do ur best n pass anything... haha... u should be waiting for spring break... =)

Av, thx for ur time accompanying me last monday.. haha... i did hv lotz of fun with u... =D
thking bout ur words... n wondering... how come u know excactly how i am... LOL... remembering ur words before, about "time will tell"... i can feel it now... the truth came out one by one... n it made everything just clearer than before... Thx for ur advice n stuff, mate... =)

It's just my 5th day in Indo after i left Melbourne... n it feels like i've left for months or even years...
I'm missing the time i've spent in Melbourne so much.. T___T

Believing... that everything gonna be alrite... it's just the matter of time...
be strong... be tough...

-Jezz

Leaving...

This is my second day in Indo after i left Melbourne...
When tears are still dropping from my eyes...
I dunno why, but that's true...
Melbourne has became a place that really hard to leave...
But, what can i say... coz i already left...

Few hours chat with Ir n Mk last nite... made me think a lot...
I never felt this sad before....
This's what i thought during the few hours chat...

"Life is sumwhat unfair...
when the person u're running to and wishing to be with never wished to be with you...
While there're some other people who really wish to be with u, but u never thought about them...
when u do anything for someone, he/she never appreciated what u've done...
While someone else is wishing to do anything for you...
when u care about someone who never cared about you...
while someone else really cares about you and u never felt that..."

Silly.. Isn't it??
but, that's life....

-Jezz

Learning from a missing part...

I told L that I won't write anything about u anymore, F...
But, i dunno why, i just can't stand it if i have to keep everything inside myself....
I bet u know that really well...

I'm doing really well here, F....
U don't need to worry that i will destroy myself... Coz i will never do that...
I'm trying to gain some weight... LOL... =) You know that u've been a part of myself, F....
To be honest, sometimes, i feel really stiff...
feeling that sumthing is missing...
Yeah... a part of myself is missing....
and this feeling is just annoying... it makes me feel empty...

Looking around my room...
It looks empty now, where i'm almost done with my packing...
There're just my laptop, some bottles of perfume and the snow globe with 2 angels inside left on my desk...
I saw the dried roses from you, thinking should i bring it home or just throw it away...
Like d song i posted in my previous post...
Everything around me only reminds me of you, F....
and when i look at them, i just smile...
Remembering how happy i was when we were still together... =)
I miss you... really miss you... After all, in my life i learn....
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa saya tidak dapat memaksa orang lain mencintai saya. Saya hanya dapat melakukan sesuatu untuk orang yang saya cintai...
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa butuh waktu bertahun-tahun untuk membangun kepercayaan dan hanya beberapa detik saja untuk menghancurkannya...
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa orang yang saya kira adalah orang yang jahat, justru adalah orang yang membangkitkan semangat hidup saya kembali serta orang yang begitu perhatian pada saya....
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa sahabat terbaik bersama saya dapat melakukan banyak hal dan kami selalu
memiliki waktu terbaik....
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa persahabatan sejati senantiasa bertumbuh walau dipisahkan oleh jarak yang
jauh. Beberapa diantaranya melahirkan cinta sejati...
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa jika seseorang tidak menunjukkan perhatian seperti yang saya inginkan, bukan
berarti bahwa dia tidak mencintai saya....
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa sebaik-baiknya pasangan itu, mereka pasti pernah melukai perasaan saya dan
untuk itu saya harus memaafkannya......
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa saya harus belajar mengampuni diri sendiri dan orang lain, kalau tidak mau
dikuasai perasaan bersalah terus menerus....
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa tidak masalah berapa buruknya patah hati itu, dunia tidak pernah berhenti
hanya gara-gara kesedihan saya...
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa saya tidak dapat merubah orang yg saya sayangi, tapi semua itu tergantung dari
diri mereka sendiri....
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa lingkungan dapat mempengaruhi pribadi saya, tapi saya harus bertanggung jawab untuk apa yang saya telah lakukan....
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa dua manusia dapat melihat sebuah benda, tapi kadang dari sudut pandang yang
berbeda....
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa tidaklah penting apa yang saya miliki, tapi yang penting adalah siapa saya ini
sebenarnya....
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa tidak ada yang instant atau serba cepat di dunia ini, semua butuh proses dan
pertumbuhan, kecuali saya ingin sakit hati....
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa saya harus memilih apakah menguasai sikap dan emosi atau sikap dan emosi itu
yang menguasai diri saya...
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa saya punya hak untuk marah, tetapi itu bukan berarti saya harus benci dan
berlaku bengis....
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa kata-kata manis tanpa tindakan adalah saat perpisahan dengan orang yang saya
cintai...
* Saya belajar,
Bahwa orang-orang yang saya kasihi justru sering diambil segera dari kehidupan
saya.... 

I hope u're doing well there, F...
Good luck for everything... n i always wish all the best for you.. =)
I love you, F.... always....

-Jezz