getting old syndrome

Have you ever felt the feeling of not wanting to learn something from the very beginning and just wanting to apply the skills you have into your daily life?? Well, I'm in the condition like that... To be honest, I would be really happy if I could have one more new skill... But... But... But, I just don't have the passion in learning it... *getting old syndrome - oh well, what an excuse*
Some people (or almost all of people) said that the older you get, the harder for you to learn/ understand things... Yeah, I feel that now... I remember how I enjoyed learning things in the past few years and it's not longer that way these days... The only thing I could do is to force myself, to take myself out of this laziness, to hope that my brain and body would support my will... 
I can do this, I can do this... 


I'm not happy these days... I feel so down and depressed whenever I step into my office... Going to bed earlier doesn't make me wake up ontime in the morning... I don't feel like going to office, I just wanna go somewhere else or just stay at home... *what happened to me?? STOP complaining, Jess!!!*


3 more days to my 22nd birthday... I feel nothing... Not excited at all, just hoping that everything will be better than before... *crossing my fingers*


-Jezz

hujan

Rintik- rintik hujan mulai membasahi kaca depan mobilku saat aku berkendara ke kantor, tanpa sengaja lagu Love You Lately - Daniel Powter berkumandang dari iPod-ku... Bukan lagu kesukaanku, memang... Lagu ini mengingatkanku kepada sesuatu yang pernah terjadi beberapa bulan lalu, lebih tepatnya mengingatkanku akan seseorang yang pernah mengisi hidupku...
Jika ada orang yang mengatakan hujan memiliki kekuatan mistis untuk membius seseorang dan membuat pikirannya berada di tempat yang berbeda dengan di mana tubuhnya berada, maka itulah yang terjadi padaku saat itu...
Awan hitam masih menyelimuti langit Jakarta saat aku tiba di kantor, pertanda hujan akan turun lebih deras dalam beberapa menit ke depan... Aku turun dari mobilku kemudian aku berlari masuk ke kantor... Aku termenung beberapa saat di meja kerjaku, lalu aku mengambil pensil dan buku gambarku... Aku pun mulai menggambar, kebetulan aku sudah menyelesaikan pekerjaanku sehari sebelumnya... Diiringi suara hujan deras dari luar, aku tenggelam dalam kertas gambarku... Kenangan demi kenangan tergores di atasnya...

Bukan gambar yang bagus pastinya, secara aku tidak terlalu pintar dalam menggambar... Hanya saja, apa yang tergores di kertas tersebut merupakan apa yang muncul di pikiranku saat hujan membiusku... Kenanganku akan seseorang yang keberadaannya sudah mulai pudar di hati dan pikiranku... Seseorang yang selalu muncul dalam ingatanku saat hujan turun... 


-Jezz
(mencoba menulis novel??)

death

Funeral... I always hate it... (who likes funeral anyway??)...
I went to a funeral the day before and I saw people crying for somebody's death... That reminded me about what mom told me: "if somebody is moving faraway, you will still get the chance to see and talk to him... but, if somebody is dead, no matter how much money you have, you won't be able to see him anymore for the rest of your life..."
Talking about death, I don't expect to have a long life as long as I could have a meaningful one, although it's short... I'm not scared of my own death... I'm scared of other's deaths... Why? Because I'm afraid of losing people... At times, I do wish to die before the people I love, so I won't know how it feels like to see them passing away... Selfish, huh?? Well, that's what I think... 


"There's nothing left to say, don't waste another day..." - Jay Sean


-Jezz

H.O.M.E

Finally it's end of June... My cousins are going to move to the states soon, within this 1 or 2 months... I wasn't close to them at the first time, we just got closer at the time I visited their house last year... In some ways, I feel kinda sad... I do really know how it feels like when people who are close to you have to move faraway so you can't see them as often as before... 
I remember the first time I went back home after 6 months staying in Melbourne, it was at June 2007... I didn't tell my parents about that, I just asked some of my friends to pick me up at the airport... Dad was so surprised when he saw me knocking the door... My brothers seemed so happy and talked a lot to me and asked me to tell them about Melbourne... 
At times, I complain a lot about how inconvenience everything is in Indo... But, there are also times when I feel glad that I'm here, in the place called HOME... 
The time when I should leave this house will come, it can be within this year or next year, or the next 2 years... We never know... I will just enjoy the time I could spend with my parents and brothers now, before we're all separated (by moving somewhere else, by marriages, etc)...


-Jess

just a random thing

Staying at home during weekend isn't that bad, especially when you're not feeling well... Actually, I should go out for survey today, but because of fever and flu, I ended up spending my Saturday staying at home, tided up my super-messy room... It looks clean and tidy now, nice! =3


I'm so grateful that God is really good to me, He knows the perfect time for everything to happen... Last Tuesday, I was so stressed out in the office because of some reasons... I didn't feel like doing anything but crying at that time... Then, suddenly HW sent me a message asking me whether I would be around office or not, so he could stop by my mom's restaurant for dinner... He came with Sd and Fr... I was so glad that they came at the right time, when I really needed people to cheer me up... =)


1 more month to my birthday... I can't believe that I will turn 22 soon... My 21st birthday last year was the happiest day in the year 2009, I hope this year would be the same... *Amen*


-Jezz

getting old??

I remember one of my friends told me this:
"the older you get, the less friend you have"
I twisted my mind to think how true that statement is and found: YES, that's the fact...
I could feel that my close friends, one by one, started to leave the friendships we have... And I don't think if I still know them personally... I don't really talk to my friends these days, it's not because I'm really busy, but I just don't have the idea on what to talk about...
I started to lose you, you, and you...


To one of you, you might think that the way I talk to you is slightly changed... Well, ya... I don't think I could talk to you in the way I did in the past... I don't think I could treat you as nice as before... Or maybe I should stay away from you for a while so I could prevent myself from treating you the way you treat me (which I really hate)?? It's not me wanting to stay away from you, but your attitude makes it happen... 


-Jezz

estar de regreso a Australia

Remember my previous post about how I don't like to travel with aunties and uncles?? Let me tell you the details of how was my trip to Australia troubled by them, especially during the flight from Jakarta to Singapore and from Singapore to Sydney... They didn't really know what time they should check in the flight... They didn't know the maximum weight of the hand luggage is... They didn't know that we had to board the aircraft 1 hour before the departure time, because it's international flights... And the worst is: they don't understand English AT ALL...
Thank God that I didn't sit together with them in the plane... I sat with my dad (on the upper deck of Airbus A380, others sat on the main deck) and dad understood why I was so mad at his friends...
They troubled me a lot at Sydney's Immigration Counter... sigh*


Once the aircraft landed Sydney, I couldn't stop myself for saying: "Thank you, God... for giving me this chance to be back to Australia..." Although it was just a week, it was much better than not being there at all... God is good...
After all the troubles at the immigration counter, I walked out the airport and found dad's friend and his children were there to pick us up with their luxurious cars (1 Jaguar, 2 Mercedes Benz and 1 Porsche)... We went to the apartment we stayed to drop our luggages off and went for breakfast... We walked along China Town to Darling Harbour and Sydney Opera House... I was so tired that time as I didn't sleep at all during the flight from Singapore (was too busy watching GLEE)... Hahaha... We went back to apartment after lunch to rest... I went out alone while others were sleeping to get Optus prepaid number and SUBWAY (Jess's favourite: Italian herb n cheese bread toasted with meatballs and cheddar cheese, plus lettuce, tomato and sweet chili sauce)... We went to a Thai restaurant for dinner and that's my 1st day in Sydney... *sleepless*

Blue Mountain on the 2nd day... Yayyy!!! I never been there before... It took us 1.5 hours driving to get there from city... The weather was nice that day, it was sunny and not really windy... nothing much to tell about 2nd day, just some photos:

I woke up early in the morning to grab McDonald's for breakfast on the 3rd day with dad... Bacon & egg muffin with hash brown and orange juice.. Indo McDonald!! Why don't you have this menu?? Because it contains bacon --> pork?? Then I went back to prepare breakfast for others... I didn't go out with my dad and his friends on third day... So, I walked around Sydney CBD for shopping with Diann and Nadia... I got a bag from Momo, some t-shirts from FCUK, Sydney key chains, 4 bottles of body lotion (which was very heavy to carry) and some bottles of vitamins... This is what I had for lunch: Ajisen's spicy miso ramen + takoyaki... Actually, there're some Ajisen Ramen counters in Jakarta, but the noodle served doesn't taste good at all... 

At night (my last night in Sydney), I went out for dinner with HK brothers and walked to St. Marry's Cathedral... I thought of going up to my apartment to get my tripod before we go, but Dan told me there's no need to get the tripod because it's already late.. Alright, I followed him and was so regret at the end... sigh* 

I went back to my apartment after done taking pictures... I took my shower and started packing...

Wednesday, June 9th 2010...

I woke up around 6 in the morning because I had to go to airport... I took my towel, was about to shower, then I saw a really nice view from the window of my apartment (it's on 65th floor)... Sunrise... I quickly grabbed my camera and took some pictures of the beautiful scenery... Then I had my breakfast, took my shower, rechecked my stuffs and left to airport... Tiger Airways sucks (If you expect good services both in the aircraft and at airport, use Virgin Blue for domestic flights within Australia)... But Tiger Airways is really cheap thou, I got one way ticket from Sydney to Melbourne only for $28.00 (without checked in luggage)... I ended up paying $69.00 for the ticket because I was bringing my 20+ kg luggage with me...

MELBOURNE!!! It was so cold and windy when I arrived there (around 7C with 15-20kmph wind speed)... It felt like I was home when I stepped on my feet there... *I guess, it's the same feeling like what Al felt when he went to CA*

I went out with HM for lunch (she bought me lunch at Oriental Spoon) and walked around Melbourne City... I didn't feel like I've left that city for 1.5years, nothing much changed... I just loved the feeling of being there again... Flinders Lane was our next stop, because HM told me that she never been there... So I took her there (who's the tourist anyway?? me or her?? lol) and had my favourite Belgian Waffle... There was a board in the shop full money in various currencies... I asked the guy there where did he collect all the money, he told me that people gave them to him... Then I opened my wallet, took a piece of IDR 2000 (this one is quite new n I didn't find it on the board) and asked him whether I could also paste it there or not... He said thank you to me and gave me the blu-tack then asked me to paste it wherever I want on the board.... When HM and I were too busy to decide where to paste the money, the guy put a bread into my bag, said "thank you.. that's for you, free!"... He's sooooooooooo nice... Although it's a just a bread, me and HM were so happy... Hahahaha...

We dropped by Lindcraft after Flinders Lane, and found wool yarn is on sale... It's really cheap, only $3 for a 100gr bundle... Aaaaaa.... I love all the colour... I felt like buying every single colour of the yarn for knitting (I did realize that I wouldn't have much time to knit)... I spent IDK how much time there just to decide what colour I should take... Hahaha... At the end I ended up buying 6 different colours (2 bundles for each colour)... Crazy!! Jess's spoiled in Melbourne... =D Done with yarn, I got 2 packages of Heigh's Chocolate (dark chocolate with coffee bean) and we went  back to HM's place to put our shopping bags and met up with Noy for dinner... I promised them to buy them dinner at TGI Friday: Jack Daniel's glazed ribs and filled potato skin... 

We went back to city, and I stayed a while at Noy's apartment just to make a song cover... He sent me back to HM's place after that and my 1st day in Melbourne was done! See, there're so many things I could do in one day... Hahaha... 

I walked alone to Elizabeth St on the 2nd day in Melbourne to have my lunch... Menya Ramen... Hahaha... I ordered Spicy Gyu Tan Don... When it delivered to my table, I wondered how could I finish 2 bowls of this when I was a student in Melbourne before... Hahaha... I walked to Melbourne Central Station after lunch, bought a carry bag and caught tram 72 to Malvern Road... I visited Tony, he was my mentor when I had my internship in 2008 (OMG, time flies!)... I brought a batik shirt for him... He likes it! Yayyyyy!!!!
Then I met Mich at Bourke St... She hugged me soooooooo tight at the first time saw me...  I haven't met her since our graduation... We walked around city endlessly, didn't know where to go and ended up having Nando's Chicken for snack... See, how scary Jess is... Nando's chicken for snack... ROFL... 

7pm, Edy picked us up for dinner... He looked soooooooo good in the black jacket he wore... We went to Richmond Ying Thai... After we finished the food, he didn't let me pay, but at the time he went to the cashier, the guy told him that they only receive payment in cash... Hahaha, so he went back to our table asking for cash from me... Poor Edy.. He was so nice that he helped me to move my luggages from HM's place to Mich's apartment... Mich and I went to Crown at night for coffee... It was just really nice to sit outside Crown... We took picture and walked along south bank:

I stayed quite on Princes Bridge, looking to the night view of Yarra River, South Bank and Flinders Street Station, blending myself with the view I used to see 1.5 years ago... I love Melbourne, I really do... I remember I stand at the same spot at the very last night in Melbourne before I went back to Indonesia for good... =D


I went to Richmond with Mich at the 3rd day... She had a job interview, so I went there with her and waited for her at a cafe next to the office... Thank God they have free wi-fi so I could do the online check-in for my flight and had a small chat with some of my friends on YM... We went back to city after that, had lunch, and walked around... I didn't know how nice does Easy Way taste... It's really popular in Sydney (you can find it in every corner of the road I guess and HK kept asking me to try)... They just opened one branch in Melbourne so they did the promotion: "buy 1 get 1 free"... So we went there to try... Hahaha... It tasted quite okay, just like normal bubble tea... Nothing's really special, except the promo... =3 
Kae picked us up for dinner... Vicky was there too... It was really good to see them again... I picked Rose Garden for dinner, since I was so desperate to have the spicy chicken ribs... Vicky told me that her wedding is going to be next year in China, then she asked me whether I have a boyfriend or not, so she could provide 2 return tickets from Jakarta to Fujian for me and my boyfriend... Hahaha... We sat at Starbucks for a while after dinner and Kae drove us back... 
Something really pissed me off happened after that... Mich told me that a guy wanted to come to her apartment for an hour or two and she seemed not wanting me to be there, so she asked me whether I want to go to Crown or to find my other friends or not.. It was 11PM that time... I was like "Huh?! I just went to Crown yesterday and took a lot of pictures... and which friend to find this late??"... Then, she offered me to find HM, and the guy would send me to HM's place and pick me up after they're done... I called HM after that, HM asked me to just stay over at her place but Mich didn't let me do it with the excuse don't-waste-your-holiday-by-just-staying-at-friend's-house-and-it's-Friday-night... She insisted that I better go to Crown... I didn't feel like going anywhere, I was so tired and it was so cold + raining that night, another thing: I'm not used to go out at night ALONE (they're a lot of drunk people around Crown, especially at Friday night)... Later she asked if I wanted her to cancel "her date", but while asking that, she was busy searching for the clothes she's going to wear and cleaning the house... Then I called Noy asking him whether he could go to Crown to accompany me... Noy said okay, but he had to prepare, so it would take him around 30mins to be at Crown... Few minutes later, the bell rang, meant the guy was downstair... I just grabbed my coat, bag, camera and tripod out (it was almost 12am)... I called Noy again to tell him that I was on my way to Crown... He said, "Just go to my place first, then we go to Crown together, I need to shower 1st"... Alright, I took tram to Verve then... His friend opened the door for me because Noy's still in the bathroom... I talked to him while waiting for Noy to finish his shower, and he's also Mk's friend... Hahaha.. Melbourne is sooo small... Because 2 of them haven't had their dinner, so we went out for supper... Hahaha... I was too full to eat, so I didn't order anything... Noy was very nice that he ordered a hot chocolate for me... He asked me to stay on his place because it's too late to be back to Mich's place and there was no more tram running... He brought me toothbrush before we walked back to his apartment... We played music and sang together in his place, then we made another song cover... Hahaha.. It was fun till we forgot it was already 3 in the morning... Mich didn't find me till 4am... She just left MISSED CALL, means I had to call her back... Noy asked me to ignore her, but I called her back to tell her that I would be back on the next day because there was no more tram... She said Okay and sorry to me... Noy lent me his sweater, then prepared the room for me (he let me use his electric blanket, he even changed his bed sheet for me) and slept on the sofa outside... 


My alarm rang around 8.30 on the next day, but i turned it off and continued sleeping... I thought of cooking breakfast for Noy, but I was just too tired... Hahaha... I woke up at 10am at the end... I tided up the bed, washed my face and brushed my teeth... I didn't dare to wake Noy up, so I just waited... He lent me a newly washed towel so I could take my shower there before we go out... We went out for lunch to Ying Thai (it's the one at Lygon St)... I ordered my favourite Pud Gra Paw... Well, he never tried that before, so he ordered the same one... I took away a portion too so I could bring it back to Indo and let my brothers try it... Hahaha... I found my phone was running out of credit, but it was the last day in Melbourne, so it wouldn't be worthy if I recharge it... But it was a very nice of Noy that he paid for my phone recharge... We walked down Swanston St, took some pictures at RMIT (I miss my campus too!!) and state library... 

I took tram from QV going back to Mich place, I gave Noy a hug before I left... He's really nice guy... Mich was still sleeping (it's around 2pm)... I put the take away food to freezer and did my packing (my luggage was really messy)... We went out for dinner later and met Noy again at Menya Ramen... Hahaha... Ah ya, you need to know, Menya Ramen and Ying Thai are restaurants you MUST go more than once when you visit Melbourne... =p 
Once we're home, I took shower and packed all my stuff... Then caught a cab and went to airport... The cab driver was really nice, I had to pay $53.50 for the cab, I gave him $100, he asked me whether I had small changes or not, so he could give me $50 back... I checked my coin wallet, I just had $1.30 left and others are SGD coins... I gave the $1.30 coins to him, he still gave me back $50... Nice! =D I went in for baggage dropping since I've done the check in online... Shopped around and had Subway for supper before I get in to the immigration counter... 
I looked around the duty free shop, found a really nice Lacoste bag... Checked the price, it's sighted to be $120... Not bad... But I didn't get it at the end (and sort of regret it now??!!)... I just bought a wallet because the one I usually use is broken... Then, I just waited for the boarding time, it was at the same gate as it was 1.5 years ago... 

Changi Airport June 13th, 2010... I arrived there around 6 in the morning and my next flight to Jakarta was at 10... I shopped around terminal 2, bought a limited edition HUGO perfume and some T-shirts for my brothers... Bored with terminal 2, I took the sky train to terminal 3 to have my breakfast, AJISEN RAMEN!! Again???!!! hahahaha... I ordered spicy miso ramen again as well, thought of comparing the taste between it and the one served in Sydney... I like the Batik pattern they use for the wall... =D

Once before I finished my noodle, a guy came and sat on the table next to me, asking me what he should have there because he had no idea... I helped him to order... Hahaha... We talked a bit, he's going back to Myanmar and is actually a student in UK... I told him I had to go, because it's almost boarding time and I run to catch the sky train back to terminal 2... I never thought that the gate would be so far (it's the one in the end of the hallway)... It took me around 15mins walking to get there from the sky train stop... I boarded the aircraft and the pilot told us that would be delay for 45 mins for the flight because of the aircraft communication system problem... I just slept, I didn't sleep at all during my previous flight from Melbourne (still busy watching Glee!)... 

Then, I found my bro at the airport picking me up... =D


DONE!

-Jezz 

(I missed Sofia's chicken and mushroom risotto T____T)