Happy July everyone...
I seriously never thought that time will run this fast, even faster then what i expected... >,< just few days passes since the end of June, but many things happened at once... Rest in peace, my be loved uncle... Me and everyone knows that this's not the way... all i can do is just say my prayer for you... Auntie and my 4 cousins... be tough... I know this could be the hardest part ever happened in your lives... Be sure, there will be better days... surely will... Having some talks with my mom during the beginning of this months about lotz of things, kindly makes me think... Well mom, we're both busy and almost dun have much time to talk, except when we're both in the same car... Mom, i know your u're not happy at your own bday this year although u got a bunch of red roses on ur bed as ur birthday surprise... U urself have your own problems and u're still thinking bout others... I just dun dare to tell u this, that sumtimes i dun feel that i'm a good daughter... Whenever u share ur feeling n thoughts to me, i just can listen... and give my opinions (i even not sure if it helps).. 2 days ago when i saw ur sad face and tears, i just can keep silent n got some pieces of tissue paper for you n teeling myself, "Dun cry, Jz"... and these are the words i never said to you: "u're the best" and i do love u so much... Listening to Britney's old song "Lucky", n caught the part: "She's so lucky, she's a star.. but she cry cry cry on her lonely heart thinking: if there's nothing missing in my life, why do this tears come at night?" well, i feel that lyrics is quite representing me at this moment... I'm not saying that i'm a star, but some people think that i got almost everything and i should be satisfied with what i have... sigh* Missing... that word... I dunno what... and i also can't be bothered to search... (so what do u wish to do, Jz?) Thinking about the world I'm living now... >,< Where people judge others from what they wear and how they look... Means, money rules everything... The world is just forcing u to be an up to date person, without any explanation on WTH the words "up to date" mean... I'm wondering, do i really care bout what others think about me??? about how do i look and what i wear??? i realize my self having such a high pride... it does make me think, am i wise enough in spending $$$??? i need to think more bout it... n seriously, i need to save up to make "my obsession" comes true... and i surely know that I CAN... Actually, I'm waiting for this long weekend... ^^
Today's quote: "Dun compare urself with others, coz we're all different..."
-Jezz
