Leaving the memories...

Now here... staying in my room...
A room with all the memories we have, F...
I remember i moved to this room exactly at the day u asked me to be ur girlfriend...
When everything is started...

I always sit in front of my laptop like what i'm doing now, waiting for you to sign in ur msgr.. so we could talk...
Turned on my webcam, so u could see me... n u always asked me to smile... =)
Smiled by myself when i saw you from your webcam...

Spent hours and hours on the phone talking to you...
Shared everything with you...

Almost 1.5 years staying in this room...
and now i just have around 1 week to pack all my stuff and send it back home...
Leaving the memories...
The roses u gave me for my 20th bday are still there, at the same place i put it...
Dried and brown...
The music globe from you is still on my desk...
U told me, the angel inside the globe looks like me...
The rosary you gave is here... on my hand...
I'm still using it everyday for my prayer...
My 1st rosary... from you... with the notes "a rosary for you, dear... dun forget to pray..."
I dunno why...
Everything around me just reminds me about you... you... and you...
You.... F... the only one i really love....
The one who's gone from my life...

Remember the letter i wrote to you, telling you the reason why I'm leaving Melbourne...
When you asked me, i told you that's not the only reason..
You said if I'm leaving only becoz of you, I better stay here...
But, i explained everything to you... that u're not the only reason...
u said, "u can say like that, but sometimes it's just not d same with your thoughts..."
Again... You do really know myself...
From the 1st time i knew you... I just want to be with you, near you...
Not staying far away from you... from the one i really love, the one i can feel really comfort with...
I don't think i can do the same thing like i did last year... Left you in the airport, without knowing when would we meet again... I can't...
Sorry for the lies i told you about that...
And as i promised to you... Even we're no longer together, i won't blame you for my decision to leave Melbourne... and I won't regret it at all...
I just listen to my heart...
I never done anything for you, F....
and u did a lot to me... U fought and did everything only for me, for us...
Then now, i tried to do sumthing for you...
But, everyone knows... It's too late...
Not regretting, coz I do feel Melbourne isn't the place i used to be anymore...

5days I'm here...
Gonna say thank to Vs, specially Mk and Ad...
Time runs fast... Spending 2 years with Ad and 1 year with Mk in Melbourne...
My very best friends... The best housemates i ever had...
I'm gonna miss you, guys...

Now i just wanna enjoy the last 1 week i have in Melbourne...
a place when my real life started... a place where my dream was...

a promise to myself... and to you, F....
I'll be a better person....

-Jezz