I pull myself away from messengers (Yahoo, Windows Live, Google and Skype) these days... I avoid people talking to me... I don't reply texts... I don't talk much on phone calls... I don't go out with my friends... I lock myself in my room or in the working cubicle at the office doing things-i-don't-know-what...
I hate ignorance, well... okay, who likes it?? But Jess, see what you are doing now!! YOU ARE IGNORING PEOPLE AROUND YOU!! What do you want???!!!
Nothing lasts forever... yeah... nothing... In this 21+ years of living, i've tried to do anything just to get this ONE THING (or two??) i really need from people around me, people i love... And i made it... But what i've got are just TEMPORARY and sadly, they faded quickly, much faster than i thought...
I am tired to be tough... I am tired to face everything by myself... I am tired to fight alone... I am tired to keep things inside... I am tired for not being able to speak out...
A song i am singing now:
"Everybody's looking for that something, one thing that makes it all complete...
You'll find it in the strangest places, places you never knew it could be...
Some find it in the face of their children, some find it in their lovers' eyes...
Who can deny the joy it brings, when you've found that special thing, you're flying without wings...
Some find it sharing every morning, some in their solitary lives...
You'll find it in the words of others, a simple line can make you laugh or cry...
You'll find it in the deepest friendship, the kind you cherish all your life...
And when you know how much that means, you've found that special thing, you're flying without wings...
So impossible as they may seem, you've got to fight for every dream...
Coz who's to know which one you let go would have made you complete..."
If you saw me delivering my speech about "What is wealth for?" few years ago (when i was in high school), i sang this song at the end of my speech... I also sang this song together with my high school best friends: Rk, Mr, Vc n Lu (i miss you, guys!!)... It's an old song with meanings inside it (don't you realize most of new songs are meaningless?? they are just nice to be listened, but the lyrics are crappy)...
After all, i was just moaning when i typed this post... it doesn't mean i'm going to stop trying and fighting...
I just need a rest... =D
-Jezz
(who's got to fight for her dreams)
2 comments:
Jesslyn oooi... Cup-cup-cup... well, i actually feel the same thing like you know. That's what you name is as ANSOS >>> Anti Sosial. ƪ(‾ε‾")ʃ
Hehehe... Maybe, you just need a space alone till' you're ready to come up with a new spirit as usual... Okay? Take care, Bunny... :)
Thanks, Jo!! I feel so much better now... hoho... =D
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