to help us grow

I'm not an angel who's able to forgive any mistake done by others nor an evil who keeps every single grudge inside my heart... 
Being disappointed isn't nice, everybody knows it... But, keeping the disappointment inside isn't healthy as well... 
People are full of trespasses, including you and me... I'm sorry for the harsh words I said and my ignorance to you... 
There're still chances for us to learn what life teaches us... to help us grow... to help us grow...


-Jezz

Replay

After paying extra attention to the lyrics of this song (the original's by Iyaz, but I prefer Legaci's cover):





There're thoughts raised in my mind... It's been a while since the time when I was treated really well by a man... I said, a MAN, not a BOY... A man who knows how to treat a woman, who has the ability to make the woman he loves to feel beautiful and precious...
I sort of miss the way my ex treated me... He's not a romantic guy, he never bought me flowers or sang any love song to me, but his attitude impressed me... He was the one who proudly shouted out loud to his new friends that he had a gf named Jesslyn when he moved to another city for study... He was the one who let me be myself, he never tried to change me... Well, he's still a good friend of mine until now anyway, we still share story to each other... =)
Other than that, I remember Ir told me to find a guy who can sing this song for me or at least treat me this way (I don't mine if it's Christian Bautista - he's just adoreable - lol):





I might sound desperate in this post... What I'm sharing here is just my thought about how I miss to be treated well as a woman and I just haven't found anybody who can treat me that way yet...
Alright, done for today, I'm going out for pancake soon... =)
Have a great weekend, everyone!!


-Jezz

Life after graduation

I heard people screaming that they want to graduate from the university as soon as they can... I did the same too when I was in the university 2 years ago... The excuses of I-am-sick-of-projects, I-hate-exams, I-don't-like-this-subject, and many others make people (including me) think that life would be so much better after graduation, so there'll be no more exams, projects, papers, essays, or so whatever... 

Truth: life after graduation sucks... university life is so much easier... 

Well, I'm not trying to frighten anyone of you here... The only thing we need to worry about as students is: how to pass all the subject... Then once we graduate, there are more things we need to worry about: what kind of job I want to get? how many companies I should send my resume to? how if I don't get the job? how if I can't perform good in my first job? how to manage the salary so I can save some? and many more I can't even mention one by one... 

For those who complain about school projects, you should be glad that once your project is submitted (by the end of semester), that means you're done... You wouldn't find this situation anymore after graduation, projects seem to be never ending without time limit (there's no such thing as end-of-semester when you start working) and they usually come overlapped... The worse thing is: you won't have as many holiday as you have in university... 
I'm the first person who graduated among my friends... Now, I'm really (not kind of anymore) sick of my job and now trying to set up my own business or searching for another job... Well, I'm not going to crab so much about my job here as it wouldn't pull me out from that situation... 
Good luck for everyone who's just done with Uni life and now starting to jump into the real life...


-Jezz

22nd birthday

Nothing really changed after my birthday last Sunday... I got 200+ birthday wishes from my family and friends in Facebook and Twitter, some texts and phone calls to my mobile... Being around good friends is what I appreciate the most these days... I was so happy that everyone I invited attended my birthday lunch... We didn't take many pictures as we were too busy talking, sharing stories and eating... Hahaha...

If you see the key chains in the pictures, I chose them... If Rk's is the same with mine, it's because I have that one too (I have more than 5 for my collections)... =D

Another thing, congrats for the commencement, Dj... Wish you could get the job you want and all the best for the next steps you take...

Congrats to Av and Mc too, who are just waiting for the commencement next September... =)

-Jezz

job desc

After moaning about how I don't enjoy working, my manager called me for a meeting last night... At first, I thought I would be fired (I sort of want it too), but NO! It's not the firing thing, the company decided to move me to another department... Finally, I'm done with the unclear job desc (it's not like what I expected)... Start from this Monday, I will be handling products development (you know, this is what I expected at time I been there for interview)... I hope I could do so much better than before...


Saturday!!! Yayyy.... I'm going to hang around the city with my bro today... I promised to take him to Tony Roma's for lunch/ dinner, he screamed at me when he got to know the price of the food served there... Hahaha... Oh well, it's a very nice of my bro that he donated some money for me to get a Blackberry as my birthday present (he said he's going to pay 50% if I want to get an Onyx or 100% if I want to get a Gemini)... I don't feel like having one, but since everyone around me (who hate Blackberry at first) started to use it, I think it's still okay for me to get one, maybe just a cheap one (I just spent a lot last week for buying 2 lenses and a new bag for my camera and treated them as a birthday present for myself)...


Life's good when you know how to act and react... =)
-Jezz

getting old syndrome

Have you ever felt the feeling of not wanting to learn something from the very beginning and just wanting to apply the skills you have into your daily life?? Well, I'm in the condition like that... To be honest, I would be really happy if I could have one more new skill... But... But... But, I just don't have the passion in learning it... *getting old syndrome - oh well, what an excuse*
Some people (or almost all of people) said that the older you get, the harder for you to learn/ understand things... Yeah, I feel that now... I remember how I enjoyed learning things in the past few years and it's not longer that way these days... The only thing I could do is to force myself, to take myself out of this laziness, to hope that my brain and body would support my will... 
I can do this, I can do this... 


I'm not happy these days... I feel so down and depressed whenever I step into my office... Going to bed earlier doesn't make me wake up ontime in the morning... I don't feel like going to office, I just wanna go somewhere else or just stay at home... *what happened to me?? STOP complaining, Jess!!!*


3 more days to my 22nd birthday... I feel nothing... Not excited at all, just hoping that everything will be better than before... *crossing my fingers*


-Jezz

hujan

Rintik- rintik hujan mulai membasahi kaca depan mobilku saat aku berkendara ke kantor, tanpa sengaja lagu Love You Lately - Daniel Powter berkumandang dari iPod-ku... Bukan lagu kesukaanku, memang... Lagu ini mengingatkanku kepada sesuatu yang pernah terjadi beberapa bulan lalu, lebih tepatnya mengingatkanku akan seseorang yang pernah mengisi hidupku...
Jika ada orang yang mengatakan hujan memiliki kekuatan mistis untuk membius seseorang dan membuat pikirannya berada di tempat yang berbeda dengan di mana tubuhnya berada, maka itulah yang terjadi padaku saat itu...
Awan hitam masih menyelimuti langit Jakarta saat aku tiba di kantor, pertanda hujan akan turun lebih deras dalam beberapa menit ke depan... Aku turun dari mobilku kemudian aku berlari masuk ke kantor... Aku termenung beberapa saat di meja kerjaku, lalu aku mengambil pensil dan buku gambarku... Aku pun mulai menggambar, kebetulan aku sudah menyelesaikan pekerjaanku sehari sebelumnya... Diiringi suara hujan deras dari luar, aku tenggelam dalam kertas gambarku... Kenangan demi kenangan tergores di atasnya...

Bukan gambar yang bagus pastinya, secara aku tidak terlalu pintar dalam menggambar... Hanya saja, apa yang tergores di kertas tersebut merupakan apa yang muncul di pikiranku saat hujan membiusku... Kenanganku akan seseorang yang keberadaannya sudah mulai pudar di hati dan pikiranku... Seseorang yang selalu muncul dalam ingatanku saat hujan turun... 


-Jezz
(mencoba menulis novel??)