insomnia!!

Aaaaarrrgggghhhh...

What's happening to me??!!! @#&@(*&$)@

It's been a week i keep being like this... i sleep early (not that early, it's around 10 or 11) and wake up in the mid night... sigh* sigh* sigh* (stop complaining Jess!!!)

I seriously need my beauty sleep which i could wake up early in the morning (EARLY IN THE MORNING, not early at mid night >,<)... another SIGH*

Okay... enough for complaining... i got some thoughts on my mind that i haven't shared out... i dun think i'm going to type it all out at once here... i'll take this one first...

a serious talk between Dj, Al and me... (in different conversation - i can't really talk much serious things in conference - i'm the one who always lost)

i spent yesterday morning-noon keeping silent in front of my computer at the office (well, i'm quite free this week since China is having their national holiday - no report to do)... Thinking about limitations we're having... Dj & Al, i know both of you are trying to make things work, planning for a better ways (i'm not included in your conversation about this - i knew it from one on one conversation)... and seems everything isn't as easy as it's said and isn't as easy as it's planned... we tried to help each others, but this limitations of ours do not allow us to do more... i know i'm doing quite well here in Jakarta and there is no such reason to complain about what i'm having now... but still, i really wish i could be there (wherever you guys are) and do things together so life can be easier... though i can't help much, at least u're not alone (if my existence around you is good enough)...

Al & Dj... 3 of us are separated in 3 different continents before (and now it's 3 different countries in 2 continents)... we experience different things that make our lives seems much harder than the passed 4 years (when we were all still staying in a same town, studying the same things)... but, don't two of you realize, this complicated lives make us stay even closer than before though we're faraway, forced us to open up our minds to be wider??? i know we can't do much things now, remembering the limitations we have, but be sure, one day, we'll make it... i trained myself to look at something in a different way, then try to believe there will be an AWESOME factor in every worst condition we're having... it just depends on ourselves, how do we look at it, how do we think about it, and how do we face it... then there will be a way out... 

I just wanna share to you what i'm thinking about here, because i don't think i can say it out well during the conversation we usually have... Al & Dj, believe in yourselves... If i can trust the two of you, why can't you guys trust your own selves and abilities???

I love you and I miss you, guys... i'm looking forward too see both of you by the end of this year... =D

"...as we go on, we remember all the times we had together... and as our lives change from whatever, we will still be friends forever..."

-Jezz