Happy October everyone...
I thought of continuing my previous post, but i'm not really in the mood for that topic at the moment...
I'm asking myself about what's happening to me.. i can see that i'd became so emotional these few days... sigh*
i listed out reasons...
first, over workload... i stayed overtime almost everyday, even went to office at weekend... and i'm sick of those stuffs... though my lab manager told me that i'm an admin manager to be in 2-3 months, it doesn't sound interesting for me... i can imagine how stressful i can be if i'm in that position... but, who doesn't wanna be a manager???
second, jealousy... i mentioned it as jealousy... i'm jealous with my friends who are still in university, stressing out with assignments and exams, but have friends around them... i do realize that there is no such point to be jealous with those stuffs, because i'm graduated and i have a "good" job + salary (people said that)... it must be others who are jealous about what i achieved... everything you see is just a cover of me... inside, i'm just a little lonely girl, with no friends around me (my best friends are far far away, separated by oceans and continents)...
third, i'm tired... i used to be too tough and too independent this whole year... and guess what, it's tiring... sometimes i hope i can find someone i can really trust to handle stuffs... but this perfectionist jess doesn't dare to rely on anyone... it's not that none is able to do that, or none is qualified... it's just myself... i do really know how well i can handle things... and whenever i think about my abilities, i will just handle everything by myself... so, i can't blame anyone for this case, because it's my own fault... and seriously, i'm really tired...
forth, i don't cry... i'm such a frozen hearted girl right now (i mentioned it before), but it doesn't mean i'm heartless... i don't cry for small simple stuffs... latest time i cry is when i was having a fight with a best friend of mine... sometimes i keep everything inside... when something bother me, i try my best not to cry... i just went out somewhere or play random song with my PSR like an autism... i think this's one of the reason my eyes get so dry, besides looking too much to the computer screen (i spent almost whole day sitting in front of my PC/laptop)...
Mk, sorry for being too emotional last night... sorry for cannot answering the question "what's happening with u?".. because myself can't really mention it... maybe one of those reasons i typed above... or maybe another reason i dunno what...
I should prepare to go... hopefully i can find out the reason...
-Jezz
4 comments:
jess, eke jg ngerasain hal yang hampir2 sama nih, tp dalam hal yang bener2 kebalikan dengan dikaw...
1st, you're too busy, but daku terlalu santai mpe stress sendiri, jd banyak pikiran :p
2nd, you're jealous of me (well, i'm still in uni :p), but i'm jealous of you, having such a good job (my future is still "diawang-awang" wkwkwkwk)... i'm totally bored in this uni life, i do nothing but studying and spending money. and they're killing me sometimes. lol.
3rd, (okay, this one, we are in the same boat).
4th, i cry a lot these days. homesick AGAIN! LOL. the result of being alone like this is too many thoughts appear in my mind, and i'm too sensitive, really.. ckckckck.
cheer up for both of us! hahahaha.
jgn banyak pikiran ow ahhh... pikirin cowo ganteng jak la yokkkk... wkwkwkwkwkwkwkwk
God Bless :)
where's your spirit chic? friendship will be as sincere if we keep it well, and don't forget there will always someone up there who always watching us! CHEER UP!
Well, it looks like these days are the stormy days in your life...
Hey girl stay strong!
Maybe this is one of the most period of your life. But don't you realize that this period happens to everyone? Many people failed to pass, but also, many people succeed. And I'm sure that you belong to those are succeed =) So, keep your steps firm and fight!
Don't forget to pray, coz God is the best and don't afraid to share your hardships with those you trusted. I'm sure you'll get through this eventually =)
Lastly, GBU =)
anyway, I'll put your blog to the blogroll @my blog. if you have time, visit here : www.dreamyh.blogspot.com. Well, it's mostly written in Indonesia, just some in English and most of them just my blabbering. lol~
and here too if you have more time : www.chocorhapsody.wordpress.com
thankie~
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